


As Bad As Things Were

by winterhats



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Death, Time Travel, abuse of the word dream, i mean not really but kind of, really bad summary (as usual) because i have no idea how to explain it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterhats/pseuds/winterhats
Summary: Of course, some nights, he didn't have dreams at all. He found himself craving those everytime he got in bed.(Set during Yuukei Yesterday. Haruka wakes up as his future-self).





	As Bad As Things Were

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> It's been so long since I wrote a harutaka-centric one-shot, but I missed my kids so I did this mess. As always, it's self-indulgent but then again, what fic isn't self-indulgent?
> 
> As always, I apologize for any typos and for the length. Apparently, I've forgotten how to write fics under 2K. Also, a warning?? There's a slightly nsfw part. But not really, it's mostly feelings. Well, see for yourself...

As a way to reason with them, Haruka would call them dreams.

A part of him knows they aren't; they feel too real and generally, they are too much for him to bear with. He wakes up breathing heavily and afraid of falling asleep again.

It's something that started happening to him not long after starting highschool. He asked Kenjirou about it, since he's the only adult he's comfortable sharing this kind of things with, but the man only looked at him somewhat pitifully, and said they were most likely lucid dreams.

But Haruka made research on them. He supposed it was the closest to a definition as to why this happened to him, and comforts himself by saying that maybe, the people writing the articles about it never had an actual lucid dream and have no idea how _real_  and absolutely disturbing they are.

Well, maybe he had to acknowledge that his weren't dreams; they were nightmares.

And the last few months, the nightmares have gotten even creepier. At first it was just waking up in a different room, and being unable to move his own body. Feeling like an empty shell. It was like he was just an outsider in someone else's body... that had his voice, and goes by the name of his gaming avatar. When that person wasn't lying down and looking at the ceiling, they'd meet with people Haruka's never seen before; more specifically, a little girl with a pink dress and a grumpy looking brown-haired boy.

It was scary and frustrating, to simply see through someone else's eyes and have it feel so real. And as a lot of things tend to do in his life, it got even worse. It got worse when, instead of watching this person's day go by, he started seeing a loop of those little kids dying in different ways, feeling the desperation of the person actually watching. And Haruka couldn't even control opening his eyes or not, so he was forced to see the gory scenes over and over.

He has always loved sleeping. But it got so bad, Haruka didn't even want to sleep anymore. At school, his classmate Takane starts to ask more often if he's feeling well, inevitably worrying her even more than he already does. But he couldn't help it, because now, even when awake he hears in his head the echo of the screams of a girl who started appearing in the nightmares.

The girl's small, has red eyes and white, long hair. But it's not like the others two kids from the other nightmare; in that one, it's like whoever body's he's in is trying to save them. In the one with the small girl, the owner of the body is shooting people. They murder everyone except the girl, and they laugh at her. They laugh with Haruka's voice. Or at least, a very weird and twisted version of it.

In the end, it was almost like not sleeping at all anyway. Those are restless nights, and he lays down in bed praying for a normal sleep, to the point he starts avoiding it altogether until he can't fight his own human urge to rest (plus, he's a pretty weak person when it comes to all-nighters.)

Of course, some nights, he didn't have dreams at all. He found himself craving those everytime he got in bed.

He even remembers a comment in one of the articles about lucid dreams saying they had a lot of fun in theirs, explaining how they dreamed of flying and magic. Haruka frowned. _Of_ _course_ he couldn't have lucid dreams of fun things; he had to dream about death.

Usually, during the disturbing events of his dreams, he wakes up startled and panicking, jumping up in his bed to try and recover his breath. When this happens, he always wakes up for real. It's not like he wakes up from one nightmare to start _another one_ , but... but he just did.

He's sitting up in the bed, but he knows he's still dreaming. It just felt off and _different_ , and the first thing Haruka notices as to why, was that he was able to move on his own. Just as if he was in his own body. And looking around, there weren't dead bodies around him and he wasn't holding a gun, so that was also different. Good different so far.

Aside from the darkness of the room, the next thing he registers about his surroundings is the smell. It's a nice smell, and a little too familiar, he just can't get a word to say where it's from. But he didn't care to investigate any further; he wanted to go back to his own life, as miserable as it honestly was.

When he had the calmest dreams, about the person who would simply hang out around the kids, he'd wake up when the person in the dream went to sleep themselves. So, Haruka figures he should take advantage of being able to control this body now and try seeing if it works like this too, and decides to go back to sleep.

So, after calming down a little, he lies back down and is determined to force himself to sleep, but when he turns around his nose bumps into something. When he opens his eyes, he sees the something was someone else's nose, and when he jerks away in surprise, he sees the someone is Takane, fast asleep next to him.

The realization blows away any possibility of him falling back asleep, as he feels scared again all of a sudden. He tries comforting himself with the fact he can control this body. He can control it so no one is killing anyone. Maybe it's, for once, a nice lucid dream.

...But couldn't it be something a bit less embarrassing? He recognized that it may be a normal thing to dream of your crush, but waking up next to her may be a bit too much. He looks at the room, and even in the dark he can make out the fact this isn't his ordinary room nor a hospital room he's also used to wake up in.

He can barely feel his legs when he tries to get out of bed, and ironically, the first thing he sees is a folded up wheelchair next to the nighstand.

_That... can't be mine. Can it?_

Whether it is or not, he's not thinking properly, so it's an unconscious movement once he reaches his hand towards it. He can't see well and it's worth mentioning he's still kind of half-asleep, so the next thing he knows, is that the wheelchair ungracefully hits the floor, making tremendous noise against it, considering the quietness of the bedroom.

"Stop being so noisy."

Haruka practically freezes at the sound of Takane's voice. Of course, no one can be _that_  much of a heavy sleeper, so she obviously woke up. When he dares to look at her, she looks annoyed, and for a moment Haruka starts to wonder if she's a figment of his imagination or the actual and real Takane having some sort of shared dream with him. The last theory scares him a bit, since if that was the case, Takane would probably never speak to him again.

When she sees him though, her expression immediately turns into concern as she sits up with him, "What's wrong?"

The kind of voice she uses this time is not similar to any kind she's used before. He's never actually heard her speak this way, so... softly. To be honest, he doesn't re-call anyone having spoken to him like this at all. ...Perhaps his mother?

He doesn't answer. He actually can't bring himself to, because she's now patting his back as if to calm him down (something he could get used to, to be honest), and because of the way she's sitting, one of her legs is on top of one of his and... she's just way too close in general. He can only look away, as he fears that if he looks in her direction their noses would bump again.

"You look shaken-up," she says the obvious, still using the same voice that's making him want to cry. "Did you have another nightmare?"

He's heard that when you dream about someone close to you is because you want to see them, and if it's nice, you probably want it to happen in real life. How cruel of his own mind to do this to him; to force him to see himself waking up next to someone he loves dearly and have her be this gentle to him. It just made him painfully aware of how much he wanted someone to love him.

So Haruka nods, and is angry with himself when his voice comes out sounding so whiny, "Yes, I had a nightmare."

Takane offers him a smile, and hugs him. She _hugs_  him, and it feels so, so wickedly real. Why was his mind doing this to him?

But he lets himself have it. He knows it isn't real, but it looks like it and even if he could do anything about it, Takane's warmth had him imprisoned now. He hasn't realized how much he craved human contact until this moment.

"It's alright," she whispers to him, in a way that makes his ear buzz. "I'm with you right now."

He wakes up crying.

* * *

 

He tries to shrug it off, because it was just a dream. A first in its kind for him, that's for sure, but Haruka can't help let it affect him. The next morning he forces himself out of bed, gets ready for school, takes his meds and has breakfast. Just like everyday, because even if he was feeling a bit off, nothing had really changed.

And when he gets to school, he's, for the first time, silently praying for their teacher to not come in late like everyday. The thought of being alone with Takane kind of overwhelmed him, despite they shared their entire school days together and Kenjirou wasn't involved in most of them.

Fortunately, Takane's not a morning person, a trait of hers he actually found himself to be fond of for some reason, so when she comes in, she's not in the mood to talk. She just mumbles a small hello before proceeding to slam her face against her desk and fall asleep, being loyal to her rutine.

And he just looks at her. Even if it was just a dream, even if it was something his own mind created in order to deal with his loneliness, he just wonders if she held him like she did in his dream, would it feel the same?

* * *

 

He'd be lying if he told himself he hasn't been falling asleep hoping to have a dream like that again. Which, he does.

This time, Takane's not next to him though. It's still the same room, and the side of the bed she was in last time is undone. The lights are on, too, so Haruka has the chance to inspect the room.

It also made him feel upset, in the sense this place made him feel so _at home_ , when he's never even felt that way before about anywhere else; not even his own house. So yes, it made him sad, since none of it was real. He sighs, and ponders if it was worth it and if he should go back to sleep after all.

"Oh, you're up," before he could decide, Takane's voice interrupts his thoughts. Haruka turns his head to the doorway, where she's standing as she looks at him and rubs a towel on her damp hair. "Breakfast?"

Not even the mention of food can make Haruka even try to dissimulate his staring. Because this time, he can actually see her properly. She almost doesn't look like herself– it's like a twisted version of her. She's obviously just had a shower, but even like that he noticed something different. She looked a bit older, and just overall not... as tired? And maybe the fact she wasn't wearing the school uniform had something to do with it.

He hums curiously, but Takane's apparently had enough with the staring. She snaps her fingers at him and then crosses her arms, "You done gawking?"

"I wasn't–" his first instinct is to deny it, even if it was absolutely true. Haruka looks away in embarrassment, and mumbles, "Sorry."

Takane raises an eyebrow, and he could tell she didn't understand why he apologized. She quickly shakes her head though, and comes back to the former question, "Are you having breakfast with me or not?"

Haruka gulps but nods, simply deciding to go along, "Yes. I'll just– I'll use the bathroom first though."

Takane was already gone halfway through his sentence, but when he finished it, he hears her say "okay," from some other room. So Haruka, by himself again, just sighs. He guesses it won't hurt to explore.

When he stands up though, his legs buckle, and as he trembles to try and keep his balance, he remembers the wheelchair from last time. _How creative, dream,_  he thinks, as he falls on his butt back on the bed. Fortunately he didn't fall forward, that would've hurt.

He decides to try again, but a little more carefully. This time he manages to control his balance, even if he looks a little dumb doing so. He hears Takane's voice coming closer again,

"Hey, we're out of cereal, so–" she cuts herself off when she steps back into the room and sees him. She immediately disregards the cereal subject, "You're starting the day walking? Yikes. Not a good idea."

"But–"

"Don't start. Just sit for a few hours," she's already grabbing the wheelchair and unfolding it. "You know you're all wobbly in the morning."

He tries to protest, but before he knows it, he's already sitting on it. Meanwhile, she has gone back to the cereal thing but Haruka has lost interest in it when she mentioned having something else to have breakfast with. He just feels grumpy that his dream would betray him like this and put him in a wheelchair.  
  
He realizes that Takane had stopped talking, but when he looks at her, she's opening the closet to find clothes that aren't for sleeping. So Haruka realizes he needed to get out of the room, because something told him dream-Takane would change in front of him.

Before he could even move, though, she turns to steal a glance at him and asks, "Weren't you going to the bathroom? Or do you need my help?"

Haruka's immediately taken back. "Your _help_?"

Seriously, dream? Is this a world where he needs _help_  to go to the bathroom?

"I'm just kidding, calm down," she says, fortunately. Takane raises an eyebrow, and her playful expression is now mixed with slight worry. "You okay?"

"Ah... yes, sorry," he offers a smile to try and calm her, which he guesses works, because she smiles back. "Just– had a weird dream, I suppose."

"Another one? Gee."  
  
He's not sure what that's supposed to mean, but when he sees her choose something from the wardrobe, he gets out to the room to go find the bathroom. Luckily, it doesn't take him long, as it was the door right in front of this one.

And when he looks in the mirror, he stares back at his own face. Except– except his face looks weird.

Well, not weird. But it's different. Just like what he's thought of Takane earlier; this is like a twisted version of _himself_. His permanent purplish eye bags aren't there anymore, and he's pretty sure he's always been paler than this. He looks rather... ah, what's the word? He can't find it. It almost doesn't make sense.

Is it _healthy_? Does he look _healthy_?

No, no. It must be another word. He might be dreaming of something incredibly out of place but he doubts it'd be nice enough to get to that point, it's impossible. He also wonders about fashion in his dreamworld; he can't come up with a good reason as to why he'd ever decide to dye his hair. Or to get this little tattoo-like thing on his birthmark– Haruka concludes that he, perhaps, had wanted to resemble his original character. That's really embarrassing.

He looks away from the mirror (as he stubbornly stood up to look at himself), finding it to be even more confusing than everything else. He has a hard time guessing which one his toothbrush is, assuming that Takane and him apparently (oh, wow) live together, so he's very, very sorry if he's ended up using hers.

Takane was already sitting, changed, too busy in her phone to even look at him when he rolls in the kitchen with the dumb wheelchair. And everything's silent. But he tries focusing on breakfast; eating, he loves eating. He'll eat and then decide if it's too much and if he should go back to sleep to come back, it sounds like a plan.

First things first, and the first of all things, is to eat. Which feels realistic in a very creepy way. How can he be tasting everything like this? Is he biting his pillow in his sleep? Wouldn't be the first time.

"Remember I'm getting out of work earlier today," Takane suddenly says, and Haruka just nods. So she has a job in the dream, alright... well, they apparently lived by themselves, so it made sense. "I'll come pick you up around five so we can go."

"Where?"

"To Shintaro's place," Takane rolls her eyes, but still smiles. There was a dream-Shintaro, too? "You forgot already? You proposed it, even. We agreed on visiting Shintaro today to make sure he's not living off junk food and soda– oh, and I thought we should probably buy him toilet paper because if I see another pee bottle in his apartment I'm gonna kill him."

Haruka can't help laughing, "Ew!"

"Right!" she also shares a laugh, and as it dies down her throat she also looks a bit more serious now. "He's doing better, though. I mean he's been crashing here less and less, so... So I guess that's a good thing. We need to make sure he isn't skipping work though, he needs to keep the apartment. I love him and all but I don't want him freeloading around here again."

Haruka just nods at everything she says as he distracts himself with his tea. God, he feels like he should apologize to Shintaro next time he sees him for picturing him like that in his dream, but he guesses it'd be a weird conversation.

The rest of their breakfast isn't eventful. Takane complains about people in social media and Haruka listens to her, occasionally providing a comment that makes her smile. And when she absently reaches her hand over the table to grab his, he was officially unable of erasing the dumb smile on his face.

As Takane gets up after finishing breakfast and is reminding him that he needs to be ready for when she comes by later in the day, Haruka  _keeps_ nodding and going along, even if he's already decided this was too much and he should wake up already.

In spite of that, he didn't want this moment to end. He liked this; the casualness of it all. He wanted it.

"–Anyway, I should get going."

Haruka looks down a bit gloomily once she announces that, and as he's mumbling an answer, he feels her hand on his shoulder. He's feeling a bit dizzy, he realizes, when he turns around to see her and she was a bit too close.

She was frowning. God, he can't escape of her worried face no matter where he goes, can he? He just had to be reminded all the time that he made her worry like this, remind him how much of an inconvenience he is.

To his surprise, though, she moves her hand to touch his forehead now. "You sure you're okay? You've been quiet."

He swallows a bit, moving his face away just slightly, but her hand stays in place. "Yes. Please, don't worry."

"You have no idea how much I hate it when you tell me not to worry," despite her words, she lets out the tiniest of giggles as she uses that same voice she used in his first dream. "Just... you call me if during the day you're feeling too much or something, okay?"

"Okay," he forces a smile for her and _again_ , she smiles back. He could really get used to a Takane who smiles back to him literally all the time. The real Takane also smiles back, of course, but she has her weird moments of "I suddenly decided I'm mad at you."

This Takane, though, not only offers the softest of smiles, but also caresses her hand down his face until it's on his cheek. Her thumb also makes a small caress, and the tenderness of it all literally made him squirm, something she notices and snickers about. He knew it was bad. He'd burst into tears in any second if he didn't get her away, but he still couldn't help leaning on her hand.

"I have to go," she whispers, but doesn't make any effort in getting away. Also, when did she get so close? He had an actual headache because of how much he was blushing; their noses were almost touching. "Please don't hesitate to call me if you're feeling bad, alright?"

"Yeah," he nods, and he feels sad, but allows himself to place his hand on top of hers. "Have a good day."

He didn't have the time to think it through, because what happens next is something he should have predicted, given everything that was happening. She leans in and presses a light kiss to his lips, and he'd be such a liar if he said he tried to pull away before it happened.

It was just a small peck, and he hates the way he actually leans in a bit when she pulls away. She laughs about that, and presses an additional kiss on his cheek, then whispering with the fondest voice, "Bye."

And Haruka wakes up crying again.

* * *

 

The weird thing about the Takane in his dreams was that she was everything and at the same time, _nothing_  like he would expect her to be. Well, this dream-like older version of her to be.

Because she acted in a way he was familiar with. She still played a lot of videogames, she's very impatient and a loudmouth. She also teased a lot, something the real Takane is really prone to, and found joy in weird slow movies about crimes.

And then there was the side of her he didn't know what to make of. It was obviously the grown-up and mature part of her his dream created, which allowed him to see her _actually_   _working_. A lot. To the point he once called her a workaholic, and she said she guesses he was right. He didn't know what she did, but it impressed him. The real Takane usually sleeps on worksheets. He's glad to know his mind came up with a job for her that she likes, though.

She was also very touchy; it was like she had to always be touching him in some way, even if it's just their shoulders brushing together. This isn't something he's actively against, but that, combined to the fact this dream version of her could be really flirty, made him nervous. After the first time she kissed him, he thought that if the dream happened again, he'd have to avoid something like that happening again at all costs. He was _sure_  that another kiss would absolutely destroy him and make him stop functioning normally.

Except, Haruka kind of ignores his own mental note and fails miserably at it. Of course, he tells himself it's not his fault. Again, she was very touchy. Of course she also kissed him a lot. What was he supposed to do, push her away?

Besides, they were just innocent pecks. He wouldn't be able to handle it if it escalated from there, he's sure, so he's thankful his dream is being respectful and isn't making the dream-Takane go further from little kisses. Except, his dreams eventually stop being so respectful.

It probably has been the longest he spent in a dream; he never spent entire days in them. They usually turn out to make him too emotionally tired, so he had to wake himself up. But this time, it's has almost been the whole day. How long has he been asleep? Did dream-time go by the same as real time?

They had apparently made plans to go out on a date and while out, Haruka didn't have the chance to decide to take a nap and come back to his life, which is why he's stayed in the dream for so long. So far, it's been the most painful one, because he enjoyed the "day" so much. Of course, there's also the constant idea of this not being a dream, and that maybe, he's waking up in the body of an alternative version of himself. A very lucky alternative version of himself.

When they got back, he knew he should've woken up. But he's just not even sure how it went from wanting to wake up to absolutely forgetting about that and everything else as Takane pushed the situation and it wasn't just a peck anymore.

He was struggling a lot to keep up with her and her fervent kissing, but for some reason, the way her weight was pressing against him on the couch was somehow a bit more distracting. There was _too much_  contact happening, but he had no power to do something about it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to do something about it, either.

He liked the way she wrapped her arms around him, and the way she tangled one of her hands in his hair and the way he held him. When she breaks apart their mouths make a wet kissing noise he found himself disliking a lot, but he quickly forgets about it when she presses a chaste kiss on his lips, and then another one on his ear that makes him squirm a bit.

He automatically leans his head on his shoulder because of it, but since she's in the way, he only snuggles closer and makes her giggle; she apparently got the response she wanted, and the thought of Takane knowing her way around him better than himself made him a bit scared. She had too much power, and she liked power. It wouldn't turn out well. It's with that realization that Haruka decides he needed to stop this.

But again, it was an inner battle between his common sense and the fact he's a teenager dreaming about someone he loves kissing him. There was only so much he could do about that. His brain is boiling inside his head, and he feels like he's going to combust when she actually whispers in his ear,

"Why aren't you opening your mouth more?" she _laughs_ , and he's glad she's not looking at his face right now because she'd probably also laugh at how red he is. God, he had absolutely no idea what he was doing; he never even had a friend, let alone kiss someone. He didn't know how to do it at all.

Fortunately, she doesn't add anything to her comment and instead she kisses his ear again, and this time it leaves a tingling that went all the way down to his shoulder. He also realizes he's awkwardly pressing his hands on her upper back, almost on her shoulders as if he wanted to keep distance. Like it even made sense when she was currently kissing his neck.

And then, another realization hits him, because his trousers started to feel tighter. He immediately hugs her closer and prays she keeps her face where it is because he'd most definitely keel over and straight-up  _die_  of embarrassment if she saw he had a hard-on. One of her legs is in between his so he couldn't press them together, so he just sinks his face on the crook of her neck and silently wishes to wake up.

But none of those things mattered, because she probably already set her mind on what to go for and she didn't need to see. She didn't even give him a forewarning when she undoes his trousers' buttons. He shifts uncomfortably underneath her, because he's not sure he really wants to do this.

Well, he does want to, he supposes, and he guesses he wouldn't have a problem dreaming about it if it was a normal dream. It'd be really, really embarrassing, yes, but it'd only be a dream.

Of course this was also a dream, but it was too real. It felt too much like it was really happening. He knew she wasn't, but she felt like she was someone who could think for herself rather that a figment of his imagination, and as silly as it sounded, he felt like it wasn't fair to her.

Maybe it was an alternate universe. He guessed it shouldn't be all that impossible if this felt this way. Maybe it  _was_  happening, and there was this Takane's version of him. The version of him she thinks she's touching right now, and the version of him she's in love with.

He felt the tears about to fall down his cheeks, and when the tip of her fingers touch him lightly after she pulled his boxers down just enough, he wakes up.

He didn't look at the Takane from his world directly for like a week after that, to the point she asks if he's mad at her.

* * *

 

_"I just think it's inconvenient," his father said, somehow talking and reading at the same time. Even if he talked under his breath, and usually, when he does that it's because he doesn't want an answer, Haruka dares to ask why._

_He had just told him that his teacher, his classmate and him made a videogame, something he thought of as a pretty big deal. As a fond memory. By the moment he told his father though, the festival had happened weeks ago. Haruka didn't even think he'd tell him in the first place, because they pretty much only saw each other during breakfast and dinner (and sometimes, not even that) and those were always silent encounters._

_But when he asks why, the man looked at him with a raised eyebrow, which Haruka feels like it's the most expressive face he's seen on him in years,_

_"Well, because you're going to die anyway, and you've always been okay with it," he looked at him, which also felt like the first time he's done that in years. He looks down to the newspapers again rather quickly though, adding, "That's not going to change just because you made a friend. You're still going to die."_

_Haruka doesn't answer, and instead just takes a tasteless sip of tea. He doesn't like that it's not even weird for his father to say something like that so lightly._

It's just when his dreams turns into who knows how many because Haruka stopped keeping count, that he understood what his father had meant that time.

Haruka has always been okay with dying. He has always seen it as something that happened, and something that, unfortunately, would happen to him sooner than it should. To him, that wasn't a big deal.

That's why his father had this dislike of Takane, who he hasn't even met and who he knew pretty much nothing about, as Haruka barely even has the chance to speak to him in the first place. What his father disliked of Takane was that she made Haruka wish he could live longer.

Of course it's a wish he's always had, but it has always been more of an  _"Ah, I wish I could go for an icecream right now,"_ kind of wish. Not the crying yourself to sleep kind of wish, like it was now. It was only when he met Takane that he realized how normalized death was in his life; how incorporated the concept of dying today or tomorrow was in him.

She made him want to live, so his father hated her for that. His father didn't want him to suffer. He wanted him to know how things would end, so he wouldn't feel like he's feeling now.

So in the end, he became convinced the dreams of the universe where Takane's at were actually worse than the ones about dead people. So he's not surprised once he wakes up next to her again after he dies on the 15th of August.

"Are you going to be here when I wake up later?" he knows it's a stupid thing to ask to the Takane of the other universe. He's the one who's not gonna be here with her; not ever again, anyway. He guesses he's asking for the owner of this life, the one who's apparently deserving of a normal future with Takane.

Takane was sitting up on the bed, so she looks down at him, as he woke up lying down already. She smiles gently, and the fact she didn't seem surprised at all upon hearing that question makes Haruka realize that the "him" from this world is probably not all that different from himself.

She nods, and reaches a hand down to his head to brush his hair with her fingers. It makes Haruka feel like he's melting, "Yes, of course."

"Promise?"

"I promise," she reassures. "Next time you have a nightmare, remind yourself I'm with you."

She moves over so she's lying down with him now, and hugs him. He hides his face in her chest, and she caresses his hair just like his mother did when she was alive. For some reason, he feels like he's not going to see this Takane again for a while, which is also a stupid thought because he's dead. He's not going to see anyone anywhere, never again.

In between sobs, Haruka chokes out, "I love you."

She doesn't hesitate to answer, "I love you, too. More than anything in the world."

When Haruka wakes up, he's lying in a hospital bed in an endless space. There's nothing but white displayed in front of him, where he sees from someone else's eyes, someone else's day go by.

And they have his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW!! End notes!
> 
> So, this isn't a headcanon. I don't think this happened or anything, I just wrote it for the fun of it, even if it turned out quite sad. But I guess it's not a sad ending since after everything he will end up with her, so yeah hahaha
> 
> Also, yes, I wrote with my headcanon of Haruka's dad. He's an asshole. I don't care if we'll ever know more about him but this is my take on him and I don't care if it turns out he's the sweetest in canon... my headcanons are everything I have in this foresaken dumb series.


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